Sometimes we constantly are wondering how to know if our man is truly committed to us.
How to get him to marry you?
A man is considered committed to you when they share their valuable resources with you.
It could be his money. It could be his time. It could be his willingness to share his emotion with you. It could be him marrying you.
But marriage itself does not equate commitment.
So there's no point obsessing over it and making it your must-have goal.
A man who is truly committed to you will never leave you when you need him the most, regardless your relationship status.
Some of them don't even know how to commit to a woman
The highest value of a man's commitment is his emotional commitment.
Because they know that when you have his emotional commitment, he could be put in a vulnerable position whereby they sacrifice everything for you.
It is the most lasting kind of commitment.
A man's level of commitment is highly inspired by his woman.
Some of them don't even know how to commit to a woman before. Or worse, some of them don't even realize that a woman needs his commitment.
A man is not the same as a woman. A man is a man. Which means he thinks in a different way from woman. They are not familiar with the insecurities and fear that we have, because since many years ago, their survival never depends on the presence of a woman, although his succession is.
Relationship and connection is our domain.
A man deeply wants connection and relationship, especially with a woman, but they may not intuitively know how to show it in a way that we would perceive as love, and commitment.
Like for example, my ex-husband, at first he didn't know how to progress a relationship to a next stage, until his ex-girlfriend (before me) nudge him into the kind of commitment that she wanted.
She naturally came from a poor family, and due to the stress that she is facing, she can't help it but to tell everyone about her financial problem. So she told my ex-husband (who was then her boyfriend) about her financial problem; how her house is run down and full of rats every night, and how she can't manage to settle her car installment every month.
So he felt touched and started off with paying for her renovation.
And then after a few months in the relationship, he gives her monthly allowances.
You see, at first, he didn't know how to progress his relationship and commitment to his girlfriend. It was all her inspiration.
I happened to come into his life after they broke up, so he immediately offered me a monthly allowance right from the start.
I know how mechanical he may sound to you. But a lot of men just find it difficult to 'identify' and 'define' their feelings. They simply want to make their woman happy by following what they have learned from their past.
The thing is, if he hadn't had that girlfriend before, I'd probably have to do all the work from the start.
It just happened that I came right after that girlfriend so I kinda enjoy the hard work that has been formed.
So don't blame a man just because they don't show their love in the way that you understand.
You may think that "Eh, but I don't want his money, I want his love". You see, the thing is, he wouldn't have done that if he hadn't been emotionally invested in a woman.
"So what if I want him to marry me anyway?"
Simple. You just have to let him know that marriage is important to you, after he is emotionally invested in you.
But you have to let him know by action, not by words.
Which means, you don't sit him down and discuss about it.
Which means, you feel that painful need in you, and then tell him why you are feeling insecure if the certificate is not there. What you are worried about. What fears you the most.
Are you afraid that if you bear his kids without the marriage certificate, his biological children can't have an official father?
Are you scared that after you invested so much in him, he suddenly wants to be out of the relationship, leaving you with the baby and not knowing how to provide for yourself?
Are you scared that if you keep living together, your conservative family will frown upon you and disown you?
Whatever your deep genuine worries are, you can tell him. After all the key to relationship is openness.