Pain is something that we could never avoid in this life.
As long as you live, you will experience pain, and there's always pain no matter how guarded, or even how resourceful you think you are.
What is pain
The pain of longing for your boyfriend to call.
The pain of loneliness when you don't have a boyfriend.
The pain of investing so much in your business and not seeing any result at all (at least for the time being).
The pain of worrying about your finances.
The pain of emptiness at undesired times.
The pain of having to raise your children alone.
The pain of boredom and dryness in your relationship.
Why is pain inevitable
There's always a way to see things in a painful way. There's always two sides of everything.
When you don't have a boyfriend, there's loneliness of not having someone you feel secure with. However, on the flip side of it, you feel so focused to complete your work and tasks at hand.
When you have a boyfriend, there's loneliness when you expect to be with him and yet you don't. And you feel a little distracted at times. But you feel that warm feeling in your heart sometimes.
A few ways to cope with pain
You can choose to resist.
You can choose to be afraid all the time. Be fearful and avoid all sort of risk. Only do what is safe.
Stick to the 9 to 5 job that you hate just so you can survive.
Settle with a boyfriend that you don't feel much attraction for, just so you can survive on his provision.
Settle with an abusive husband just because you need his provision for yourself, or even sometimes for your children.
Becauase, it's all safe.
You can choose to be open to receive and accept the abundance life can bring, and surrender to the greater power of the universe that sometimes may bring pain into your life, and you know that there's nothing you can change about it.
You can surrender to the sensation that life brings you to your body.
You can choose to do what is right, what you're supposed to do, instead of doing what you have to do hiding in fear.
You can tell your boss that you quit you job when he tells you to do things that goes against your values. Even though it means you have to live with the fear of not being able to bring the bread and butter to the table. Even though it means you have to worry for a while to find a new job.
You can stand up to your abusive boyfriend and prove to them that you don't need to be with people who doesn't value you. Even though it means you have to live the humiliation of loneliness for a while... and the thought that no one else could be better or more attractive than him.
What it means by surrendering to pain
I'm not talking about just sitting around doing nothing about it, and feeling grudge deep in your heart.
Remember the last time something bad happened to you. You woke up at the wrong side of the bed, with a neck pain, and realized you're late for work, and when you reached the office, your boss gives you a piece of her mind.
Did you take the time for yourself, to just sit one corner, quietly, thinking and feeling about it, and even cry?
Or will you just deny that sensation, and instead react in anger.
Will you just pretend nothing happened and move on?
When was the last time you cried alone, clutching your pillow?
Will you just go and blame your boss, blame your spouse, blame the weather, blame God, blame the universe.. for all the misfortune that you experience?
Will you feel it, accept it, forgive, and then move on?
When you surrender to pain, acknowledge and accept it, you will have that soft and gentle energy shining out of you.
One's value is due to their ability to create something out of nothing. Like when you forgive yourself and make peace with the pain that comes to you.
But you say, I'm just a human, how can I possibly do that? How will I have the resource to do that?
You can have it by tapping into the abundance beyond yourself. And the only way to do it is to be open accepting. All of it. Both the resource, and the pain that comes with it.
Why is it that when we are blocking ourselves from pain, we are also blocking ourselves from joy
I"m sure you've been in a situation whereby you're really hungry. Literally hungry.
During that time, whatever you eat feels the most delicious.
As you start to get fuller, the taste of the food starts to diminish.
When you miss you boyfriend the most, it's the happiest time to meet your boyfriend.
When the jigsaw puzzle is too easy to solve, you don't feel good solving it.
When it's to easy to earn money, you will feel there's no challenge in life.
When a man pursue you too fast too strong too soon in the beginning, you will feel something is weird, like what did you do to deserve it. But if you know that the journey has been gone through, you know you earn that relationship.
The effect of surrendering to pain, to your mind, to your body
When you can befriend your pain and fear, you will appear to be less jittery and calm.
When you are calm, people around you can feel it and they trust you more.
You will engage less in substance abuse.
That's all I can share this time. Do let me know if you have any comments.