Actually, the moment a man choose to commit to you, he has determined that you are beautiful enough for him.
To a man, physical attraction is only important at the beginning. When a man has fallen in love with you, it doesn't matter whether are all dressed up with a perfect make up on and ready to go, or you just woke up with in the morning with messy hair and smelly breath.
However, sometimes the media just make us feel otherwise. They always show more beautiful women and more beautiful women. And that sometimes just eat into our self confidence.
How do we put ourselves together and get back up on our feet?
Why we feel a crippling fear around the existence of more beautiful women
That's because our basic instinct tells us that these beautiful women are going to suck all the attention from every man, and then we won't be left with any.
If we couldn't get any attention from any man, we will not be attracting any man to us. This instantly sends the message to us that our reproductive succession will fail.
No high quality man is going to fertilize our eggs, and protects us and our off-springs.
This threat to our basic reproductive instinct also sometimes translates into a crushing feeling on our ego, and jealousy.
Even some women who doesn't wish to have children may still have such basic wiring.
Since prehistoric era, women have been competing for the attention of the most powerful, most resourceful men in the society. This is to ensure the survival of that woman and her off-springs.
Getting the commitment from a high status man in the society will also alleviate the social status of that woman and her family.
The existence of beautiful women also perceived as a threat that our men would abandon us for them, leaving us fending for ourselves and and our children. This is causing jeopardy to our survival.
This is why in our nature we always want to look as attractive as we possibly can. This is why the feminine energy naturally seeks attention.
Why the media constantly features beautiful women
Many times, the media feels so cold towards us. They always features beautiful women, reminding us that there are so many beautiful women in the world, more beautiful than us..... (at least physically....)
Because they are competing to get more and more spectator for their survival. They are willing to sell anything, even when it contradicts moral values, as long as it sells.
I am not saying that what they are doing is right or wrong, and I am not making you wrong for feeling jealousy, and sadness, and inferiority.
It is not their fault. That's the way the world is going on.
Perhaps the cameraman has a family that he needs to provide. Perhaps that men around will have things.
You don't have to be like them.
But... you also have to realize that.... (read next title...)
Why men checks out on beautiful woman... especially the one that passes by.
Many times, the media feels so cold towards us. They always
Love isn't a competition; why we shouldn't compete with other women for attention.
Because they are competing to get more and more spectator for their survival. They are willing to sell anything, even when it contradicts moral values, as long as it sells.
Will your man leave you for a more beautiful woman?
I know, at first, this will sound bitter and harsh; my answer to this question is that, "Well, it depends...."
How long he has been invested in you.
How much he thinks you need him, than that other woman does.
How valuable you are perceived by him.
I am not saying that a man who leaves his woman for another woman is right or wrong. Neither do I make you wrong for feeling the cringe in your stomach reading this article right now, imagining that your man is leaving you for a more beautiful woman.
The truth is no matter how kind and selfless a person is, he will always look for value. What's in it for him.
Even the most selfless act a person seems to do, there's always some value in it for them.
For example, even if a person says he does charity to support and help breast cancer patients just to make those patients happy, in the end of the day, he serves his purpose of feeling happy for those cancer patients who feels happy because of his donation.
Similarly, if he feels that he has unfulfilled need within the relationship, he might seek it out from that other woman.
They might do a one night stand if she offers, but not that he will leave you.
I do believe that a good man don't cheat. Neither should we make the feeling hurt from our men cheating us be wrong.
And neither do I judge men who 'sexually cheat' as a bad man. I have seen many men who are financially committed to a woman still sleeps with prostitute.
They don't love that prostitute, especially if he is limiting contact with her and simply exchange with money. They love their wives.
And they won't leave their wives.
Because it is not easy to find someone trustworthy who is so invested in him, like his wife.
Of course there are exception to men who are just chasing for better arm candy each time.
This has nothing to do with his ability to attract woman. This has everything to do with his own mindset.
Even the most handsome and resourceful man can be loyal, if he has that kind of depth within him. Similarly, a man who doesn't look that great
That's why it is wise to always make small test to know his character from time to time. Not from a place of doubt, but from a genuine craving as a woman, for the attention and commitment from your man. It is important to know your man's character and know him in deep.
Most men admire woman with perfect looks, because that's cool. But that's not what makes them fall in love and commit emotionally.
The reason why men doesn't fall in love with the perfect woman
Perfect, in terms of physical appearance, personality, quirks and so on.
This is because people feels safer with people who shows flaw. Because they won't feel judged that way.
Imagine you are with a perfect man, who has no problems in their life, super handsome, flawless. Won't you be skeptical?
Do you feel he will accept you the way you are?
So, you see, perfect-looking woman is great. Perfect. But that's not what makes a man fall in love.
Why you should still feel confident even without make up
I am not saying that you should not wear make up. What I mean is you should have the freedom of feeling confident even without make up.
I have friends who tell me they are not confident going without make up.
That's very unliberating
I understand that sometimes it's hard to truly be open up about our perceived disadvantages. I know some of us might think "Going out without make up? Yeah sure, only when I'm not going out to meet my new date, or that important presentation." "No way I'm gonna miss my chance just because I'm not looking my best, for practicing not wearing make up."
I totally get you. Sometimes we are just really excited about certain things in life. That's a good thing to enjoy. After all, excitement is the fuel of our lives.
You see, that part of you that feels the fear and want to put on make up to cover it, it is part of you. Accept it. If you feel that fear, then you probably should wear that make up for that particular occasion, and then dress to impress.
This article is not about wearing no make up for the sake of it. It is to practice self acceptance, and freeing you from the need of always wearing make up.
If you never tried it, you would never find out how liberating it is. You'll never find out, whether people will still treat you with respect and adore, as usual, when you used to wear make up.
You can always start with small steps, such as going out for a random stroll on a weekend without make up, AND smile to anyone you met along way....
....especially after you practice these beauty-from-within tips:
What you should focus on instead
For that no-make-up-look to work on you, you need that inner beauty to shine out of you.
Here are some beauty-from-within tips that would help:
1. Take care of your skin; apply moisturizers, preferably natural ones.
Instead of covering your skin patches with foundations, and your black under-eye and acne scars with concealers, it is wiser to eliminate the problem from the source.
Think about it. Our skin is the biggest organ in our body. One of its function is as an excretion medium.
Remember the time you exercise and sweat? The reason why sweating is good for you is because it is a way of detoxification. Your sweat contains urea, ammonia, and other waste products from your body.
Now, when your body is not functioning the way it should, as an excretion medium, your skin will show signs of that abnormality. This is an amazing mechanism that is in-built in our body to protect ourselves. When our immune system wants to get rid of the unwanted source of that malfunction, it rejects those substance out of our body from our excretion media; whereby one of those media is our skin.
I see some women, being too focused on the outer appearance of her skin, putting a lot of primers, and foundations, and pore blocker, and powders on their skin, and yet, when they got home from work, they don't even bother to remove those make up before sleeping, and let alone care enough to put on a skincare.
Wearing make up to sleep will cause a serious damage to your skin almost immediately. One night sleep with make up on and the next day you will see that fine lines starts to form, immediately.
Always remember to hydrate and moisturize your skin, especially after you shower, or wash your face. If natural tomato juice and avocado oil is too sticky or too oily for you, or too troublesome for you, you can use moisturizers that contains hyaluronic acid. Hyaluronic acid is a natural moisturizing substance that is found in our body. If you can't afford the price of hyaluronic acid, you can just apply any moisturizer that your can afford, anything, as long as you hydrate and moisturize your skin.
Also, take care of the area around your skin with an eye cream. The eye area is slightly different from any other part of your face, which is why it requires special kind of maintenance. Eye area is the fastest to age among any other surface on your face. You can even guess a person's age by their eyes.
Hydration is the most important aspect of a youthful skin. Dehydrated skin looks dull, dry, flaky, and wrinkly. You don't want that.
2. Drink Enough Water
Do you want an instant relief to your fine lines? Then drink a glass of water now. Wait for 2 minutes, take a deep breath, and look back to your mirror. Notice how your skin complexion, texture, improves.
Hydration is the most important aspect of a youthful skin. While applying moisturizers hydrates your skin from the outside, drinking enough water hydrates your skin from within.
Not to mention, drinking enough water will prevent you from kidney failure and stroke. Our two most important organs with the most water content are our blood, and our brain.
If you start to see your urine turns reddish because of blood, it is a sign of a leaking kidney, which means you haven't been drinking enough water. You see, when your body is deficient of water, it will absorbs water from your blood, which makes your blood thickens. When your blood thickens, the hard particles in your blood will scratch the tiny walls of your kidney. After some time, your kidney walls will be wounded, and bleed. If this thickened blood goes through your brain's blood vessels, it may causes stroke.
Do you know that you lose water even when you breathe? Do you know that the air that you exhale out contains water? If you don't believe this, you can breathe onto a glass surface and see how wet it gets after you breathe on it.
You should make the habit to drink 2 litters of water a day. An easy way to track your water intake is to fill up a 2-litter water container every morning and aim to finish it during the day.
3. Have enough sleep, and turn in EARLY.
Do you notice how your complexion improves when you wake up in the morning? Doesn't it look plumper and moisturized?
This is why sleeping is so important for your skin.
Not to mention that the body secretes growth hormone during our sleep. This growth hormone is secreted during certain time in your sleep, depending on your internal body clock. Let's suppose you habitually sleep at 10 p.m. at night. Your body will secrete the growth hormone the most around midnight, and that secretion slowly decrease during the rest of the sleep.
So, you should make a habit to sleep at the exact same time everyday, so that your body clock is not disturbed. Actually, the more habit you do at the same time during the day, everyday, the better it is for your system.
That's why, when you sleep too late, your skin won't look that good in the morning, because you missed that growth hormone secretion time. Turning in early will also removes the dark circles around your eye.
Sleeping also helps you to lose weight. When you sleep, all your big organs helps you burn fat. If you don't give them enough time to burn fat, you will gain weight.
Aim to sleep at least 8 hours and less than 10 hours a day, and turn in before midnight.
4. Eat healthy
Certain food can stimulate growth hormone and rich in important nutrients such as collagen, protein, multivitamins, and anti-oxidants.
Some ingredients that comprise a healthy diet:
Grass-fed beef, fatty fish (such as salmon, cod, patin, catla, and seabass), stingray and pomfret (to be eaten with their bone for collagen), chicken, turkey, eggs, beet root, red cabbage, red spinach, cabbage, spinach, kale, broccoli, sprouts, asparagus, tomatoes, bell pepper, pumpkin, turmeric, chili, cardamom, cloves, chia seeds, peanuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews, walnuts, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, bananas, oranges, avocadoes, passion fruits, limes, grapes, apples, star fruits, and watermelons.
I personally prefer not to eat grains and potatoes, because those food are high in glycemic index, compared to any other form of carbohydrates.
I am not saying you should not take carbohydrates at all, but to prevent inflammation, you should take some other forms of carbohydrates from other source.
From where? Vegetables. Do you know that vegetables contains carbohydrates too? That's how herbivores get their carb intakes.
Another point to take note is, how much you eat.
There are simple ways and more complicated ways to detox.
Simplest way? Breathe. Take a deep breath from your nose and then exhale it from our mouth. Repeat this process for 5 times.
Another way is to urinate. Drink a glass of water and get a toilet break now.
To clear your bowel movement, eat one-ingredient food for snack.
6. Lose weight
Our existence in this universe is governed by certain absolute principles.
And the principle that governs losing weight is as simple as the law of conservation of energy; as long as your intake of energy is less than your energy consumption, you will lose weight.
Losing weight is such a simple and basic principle and yet many people simply don't realize it.
And because they don't realize how basic and easy it actually is, they keep thinking that it won't be easy. As a result they lack motivation to get disciplined.
Losing weight will cause your body to produce more growth hormone, and that growth hormone will help to lose weight.
Anything that gets your heart beat up and your blood flowing is perfect. As long as you avoid sedentary lifestyle, that would do it.
8. Train your brain
Here are some list of activity that can train your brain:
Sudoku. Video Games. Board Games. Any form of games. Chess. Oil painting. Playing piano. Playing the violin. Playing any musical instrument. Do a puzzle. Redo your high school math. Read a self-help book. Read an educational website articles. Re-organize your wardrobe. Trying new recipes. Learn investing. Learn computer programming. Joining an online course. Joining a physical course on topics that you like.
9. Manage a healthy level of stress
Science has proven that, to function properly, human needs functional stress. When it reach certain level, it is at its optimum level.
When stress gets too much, it becomes pathological stress.
On the other have, having totally no stress is also not good. It will cause depression.
You can now get rid of that cringing feeling of jealousy to those women who are provided by their rich husband because you think they have no stress. The truth is, it is much more fun to have some form of stress in your life.
10. Take care of your hair
Having a long lushious hair is a sign of health. A woman has to be at a certain level of health to be able to grow her hair that long for that long period of time.
The key to take care of your hair, is to always, always, oil the tip of your hair after washing it.
If you do this, there's no need for expensive hair mask or any salon treatment for your hair.
When your hair is wet, it contains moisture. When it dries off, the moisture will escape from your hair, making it look frizzy, dull, and tangles. Especially those of you with natural curly hair.
A simple virgin coconut oil, or an argan oil at the tip of your hair will help you prevent that moisture from escaping. As a result some moisture will still be contented in your hair and your hair will shine, and less tangled.
Another important thing to do is to regularly put mask on your hair.
If you are busy and short of time, you can just put that mask before you wash your hair.
Remember that your hair is a dead tissue. What lives is your scalp. So if you want to use natural susbtance, you can use on the scalp, but for the tip you can use over-the-counter ones.
11. Start giving love to the people and things around you
m not saying that yo
Above all that remember that you only need 66 days to form a new habit. As long as you keep doing something for continuous 66 days, you will eventually incorporate it into a habit.
Let me know your comments. I'd appreciate if you say hi to everyone in the comment below.
The Profound Woman