Have you ever heard the term of the "Cool Girl"?
Who is the "cool girl"?
The girls that when knowing his boyfriend has a female close friend she says "Cool. I'm fine with that." without first checking out how she truly feels.
She is the girls who
Why is she so 'cool'?
Perhaps because the self-help books that tells her it's cool.
Maybe it's because she rejects part of herself. Because she makes what she feels wrong.
That in order to be a proper part of the society, she has to tolerate this and that.
She follows things blindly without being honest to herself.
Are you mistaking the 'cool'ness for 'calmness'?
Being cool is not the same as being calm. Being calm is accepting all your feelings and acknowledging it. Being cool most of the time is rejection to pain.
What men thinks and feel about the cool girl?
They will think, "It's cool." but that doesn't mean they feel anything for her.
Instead, be the warm girl.
The open, vulnerable, and therefore receptive to your surroundings. Receptiveness is about acceptance to your emotions about how things around you make you feel.
Why being a warm girl doesn't mean you can't be calm and feminine?
There are certain kind of woman who are more quiet and seem feminine. But if you're not quiet, it doesn't mean you can't be gentle and feminine.
And by the way, if you think you're not a calm girl, and that you are loud and expressive, it's okay too. You don't have to be calm.
Your calmness will come naturally from accepting the part of you who is not calm. That is confidence.