You're probably thinking to yourself...
I feel comfortable dressing like I do now. But I think I will get more attention from the opposite sex if I dress slightly more.. umm... revealing.
So, do I need to be 'doing the uncomfortable' and dress more revealing to get the success that I want in dating and relationship?
The problem about being sexy.
It is true that the basic drive in a man to search for a mate is sex. This is the way natural selection process wipes out men who aren't interested in sustaining their kind through reproduction.
However, if sexy is the main thing you are, then that's only thing a man wants you for; sex.
So why the media keeps showing half-naked woman everywhere?
It's because this is a fast short term pleasure that sells in the public. The only thing that they care about is what gets them the most viewer and as a result earn them the most money.
Why you do not need to compete with other women to get a man's attention.
Imagine you are in front of an ice cream bar. In front of you there are many flavors of ice cream. Any kind. The choice is endless.
Triple Chocolate. Vanilla. Cookies and Cream. Rum and Raisins. Chili and Chocolate. Hazelnut Chocolate. Strawberry. Mango. Passion Fruit. Orange. Coconut. Green Tea. Fruit Punch. Root Beer Float. Durian. Vanilla Cheesecake. Butterscotch. Caramel. Sweet Corn. Raspberry.
Pick your favorite flavor.
Now, my question is, why do you pick that flavor? Why do you like that flavor?
Now, pick the flavor that you'd least likely to try.
Why don't you like that flavor? Is there any way I can make you like this flavor?
Even if I manage to get you to try, have it and accept it. Would you like it? How much would you like it compared to the one that you truly like, without the need to convince?
Can anyone convince you to like this flavor that you don't like? Or can anyone convince you to not like the flavor you like?
No, no one can.
Why? Because that's just what it is. Your preference.
No one is ever going to be able to convince you what you like and don't like.
A strawberry ice cream is made of strawberries and some milk, and perhaps some other stabilizing agent. It can't pretend it's made of chocolate.
Same as you. You are born in a certain way of looks, with certain preferences, and then experiences certain pain and joy along the way that makes it your past. All these things make you who you are.
You can't pretend to be someone you're not; at least not forever.
If you are willing to accept who you truly are, are true and honest to your identity, and therefore confident with who you are, you will find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
Yes, there will be some people who doesn't like ice cream at all and that they choose whisky and brandy instead. That doesn't matter does it?
A strawberry ice cream can't pretend it is a chocolate ice cream by desperately trying to cover up its trace of strawberries and adding artificial chocolate flavor on it.
Those chocolate ice cream lovers would instantly taste something is off and weird, and immediately decide that they don't like it, unless they do.
But more fundamentally, they will start to think that the ice cream seller is untrustworthy, because she is lying about the flavor of the ice cream. They will feel worried, what if she put something bad that we don't know, in the ice cream.
They may never choose to come back for more ever again.
The best thing that the ice cream seller can do, is to add real chocolate to that strawberry ice cream, and then declare it as "Chocolate with Strawberry Flakes".
This way, it may attract a new set of customers who likes it for what it is; a mixture of chocolate and strawberry. And no one is going to feel cheated this way.
So, what's your true flavor? Who are you? What do you truly believe in? What are you feeling right now? Are you feeling relaxed, free and gentle? Or are you feeling sexy like your body is ready for a man who will sweep you off your feet?
With love, always,